The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

It is true that nowadays there are dramatic changes

on

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in

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the

Correct article usage
apply

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virtual entertainment

devices

. , but some

people

believe that

this

phenomenon can bring several negative impacts on individuals and

the

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apply

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society. I personally believe that there is no evidence to justify

this

view.

First

and obviously,

although

it may be beneficial, entertainment on

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handheld

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handhold

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handheld

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devices

can bring about several negative impacts. Video games are additive so many young

people

these days spend too much

time

on their

devices

and

therefor

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therefore

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isolate themselves from others.

This

lack of face-to-face interaction not only hurts many

real life

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real-life

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relationships but

also

increase

risk

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the risk

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of mental health issues among young

people

.

In

addition

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,addition

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when

people

waste large amounts of

time

on virtual

devices

, they tend to be less physically active, which can in the end lead to problems with eyesight,

behavior

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behaviour

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and posture.

Furthermore

, lack of

exercises

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exercise

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over a long period of

time

makes

people

vulnerable to metabolic diseases

such

as obesity, which cause

of

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apply

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deterioration of health.

Secondly

,

although

there

are

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is

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available many

type

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types

The singular countable noun type follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of

entertainments

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entertainment

It seems that entertainments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in

handhold

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handheld

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devices

,

people

suffer from

high

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a high
the high

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level

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levels

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of stress,

people

spend a lot of

time

in front of virtual

devices

and it is harmful from different sides.

For example

, spend

large

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a large

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amount of

time

in front of virtual games, we lose our precious

time

also

it profound on our

behavior

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behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and memory.

In conclusion, society already used to gadgets, handheld

devices

which harmful as explained previously.

Although

the accessibility of entertainment on portable

devices

can result in many health risks, they can

also

be effective stress relievers for numerous

people

, and encourage the networking of like-minded individuals across the globe

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