Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

In the current society, technology using become the most

importance

Replace the word
important

The word importance doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples

in each individual’s life,

such

as social

media

,becoming increasingly popular among all

generation

Fix the agreement mistake
generations

It seems that generation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

.

however

, sharing personal information on social

media

websites

also

have risks. Overall, I intend to consider that the advantages of social

media

outweigh the disadvantages.

Admittedly, Social

media

is one of the most important technology products that all

aging

Change the spelling
ageing

The spelling of aging is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples

people

are using, especially among teenagers and

grown ups

Add a hyphen
grown-ups

It appears that grown ups is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples

.

For instance

, lot of apps,

such

as billboards,

people

can listen to music on the way to work or home for relaxing themselves, checking breaking news on the

first

second

from all over the world, publishing their own opinion or

their own arts product

Change to a genitive case
the product of their own art

It appears that the word arts should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

show examples

for sharing with

people

on youtube or

instergram

Correct your spelling
Instagram

The word instergram is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

. Some of them even become popular through youtube or

instergrams

Correct your spelling
Instagram

The word instergrams is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

,

benifiting

Correct your spelling
benefiting

The word benifiting is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

both producers and viewers.

However

, there are

also

some risks among

the

Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

social

media

if

people

are over-exploded themselves on

internet

Correct article usage
the internet

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

.

For example

, some hackers may use some

individual’s

Fix the agreement mistake
individuals’

It seems that individual’s may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

personal information to hack their bank account ,

consquently

Correct your spelling
consequently

The word consquently is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

,

Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples

will have

finical

Add an article
a finical

The noun phrase finical loss seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples

loss.

In addition

, if

people

shared some personal opinion but major viewers have different comments,they might risk internet bullying, hurting their family,

neverthless

Correct your spelling
nevertheless

The word neverthless is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, causing mental issues.

To conclude,

though

Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples

there will be some risks while sharing personal information on social

media

. the trend in the current society is social

media

.

people

shall take care which they want to share on some social

communcation

Correct your spelling
communication

The word communcation is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

tools and they have to be mentally ready

what

Change preposition
for what

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

to do if they have to face different voices from social

media

.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*